Pergi yg tak akan kembali lagi.
3 hours ago
5 Days of Tagging
March 10, 2018
Well... I am still contemplating to share my housemanship life here. It can be misinterpreted and misunderstood, as people are reading from just one side of view. But, insyAllah I will try to reflect my days and improve every single thing that I can. Still trying to.
Let me share about how a doctor can become a practicing doctor.
A doctor is not yet a doctor in Malaysia, until s/he is certified by Malaysia Medical Council (MMC) with his/her registration number. How to be one? A graduate with a medical degree need to do housemanship as 'doktor pelatih' for 2 years with 6 departments. It means, s/he need to work for 4 months at least for 1 department before proceeding to the next one, only after s/he pass ALL requirements and assessments through out every departments.
So, how is my life right now?
5 days of tagging out of 2 weeks. Applied to all hospitals around Malaysia, tagging days start at 6-7am and end at 10pm plus. 15 hours of working every day for 6 days per week. If someone got lucky, the department will allow taggers to get an off day in a week Otherwise, some may require taggers to work every day for 2 weeks.
Depends.
So, I currently survived 5 days of tagging and have an off day today. Still thinking either to sleep or to go out or to do intense revisions. Deep down, I think I need to do all of them today. Haha.
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| Housemanship journey will not be like this straight path but things will work out, insyAllah :) |
What I have learned so far?
1. Doctors and responsibilities.
- Doctors are still students but not as a title of students. There are LOTS of thing to learn, adapt, manage every single day, while trying not to make the same mistakes twice.
- Doctors are responsible for the patients. We need to attend patients even with the slight symptom like headache due to stress as we are doctors and simple symptoms do not all the time mean nothing wrong is going on.
- Always seek help from seniors, superiors, hospital staffs every time we are not sure as we are dealing with people's life.
2. Masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. Yang baik kita simpan dalam hati dan ingatan.
- Hospital environment is something new as a working place to me. Even though I managed to spend a month in hospital in Malaysia, the environment is totally different. Maybe because I were still a student back then and responsibilities of students and doctors are hugely different.
- Working is not all the time about happiness and calmness. We can get scolded for important stuffs we miss while clerking the patients. We can also get scolded for mistakes we made while trying to find out what are the things going on with the patients. And.... we can also get scolded for nothing.
3. Approach to patients.
- These are few things I can recall right now that I wish I will always try my best to do it:
- Always greet the patient with a smile and introducing myself, no matter how hard my day is.
- Always reconfirm the name of patients so that I do not attend the wrong patient with the wrong diagnosis and plan.
- Always be careful with needles and procedures to prevent harm to patients and even myself.
- Always double confirm with the patients about the symptoms they have as some will suddenly change their sickness when the superiors ask.
4. Advice to myself.
- Adapt faster and be familiarize with EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOMS WITH THEIR DIAGNOSIS AND PLANS.
- Write faster with readable handwriting.
- Take blood and insert branulas with more confidence. Always transfer the blood into the respective tubes and label them as soon as I took the blood.
- Be careful with names and R/N number of patients as patients may change their bed or I can't remember their faces.
- Smile, smile, smile.
- Be good to others no matter how bad they treat me.
- Think positive every time I got scolded - that scolds are for my own good and those are mistakes that I surely need to improve.
- Improve and don't keep harsh words I received in my heart. They surely have their bad days too.
- Admit the mistakes I made and always ask for help if I get lost somewhere.
- Always find time for prayers, meals and to contact my family.
All in all, tagging days are tiring but insyAllah these days are the one that will help me to be a better and a safe doctor to the community. InsyAllah, ameen ameen.
Doakan yang baik untuk saya ya.
I'll improve myself!
M, Perak, Malaysia
180310
Beginning of Housemanship - A New Life Phase
March 3, 2018
Post-PTM.
Post-orientation week.
2 days before tagging period for first posting.
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A place I found serenity. :D
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Orientation week was more towards patient safety or something with awareness course for junior HO (houseman) during working. Trust me when I said all medical health people really try hard to take care of our safety. The week ended with a test to see our understanding about it.
So, if you guys want to know, patient safety can be defined as absence of preventable harm to a patient during process of health care (WHO). Understandable, right?
A lot of topics were covered in this course - from the right way to prescribe medications (ubat-ubat kita dapat tu), the right way to have safe surgery, the right way to prevent antimicrobial resistance (this is a big issue in the health world today), the right way for safe blood transfusion (one of the most IMPORTANT things to take note as the mistakes here can lead to death) etc.
Actually, I think any kind of mistakes can harm the patients.
But, doctors are human beings as well. Humans can never run away from making mistakes. But still, the main point here, have we done the best to prevent the mistakes from happening?
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| Teluk Batik |
Alhamdulillah, still surviving. :)
Next week will be the beginning of real battle :)
May Allah ease, may Allah help.
And welcome to another phase of life, Nina :)
New responsibilities.
New knowledge and skills.
New environment.
New friends and colleagues.
New room.
New neighborhood.
It will be challenging. Ultimate one.
But... keep holding on and keep your faith, Nina.
InsyAllah you will get through it.
Don't keep emotions to yourselves. Let it go, let it out.
Learn fast, every single moment.
Respect others.
Respect others.
Offer yourself.
Help yourself. Help people.
Praise and compliment yourself, praise others.
Eat well.
Pray consistently.
Never lose hope.
Remember all beautiful people and memories.
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| Watching sunset on my 3rd day of orientation week. |
It is going to be hard but it is not impossible.
You can do it, Nina!
Fightingggg!
p/s - O&G for 4 months, bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Fightingggg!
p/s - O&G for 4 months, bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
SS, Perak, Malaysia
180318
A Life Lesson I Learned From Black Knight (Korean Drama)
February 13, 2018
This drama was still ongoing at the time I started writing this. But it is over now, with a sad ending. Ops, spoiler alert!
To those who have no ideas about this drama, let me share a bit of its synopsis. The full title is Black Knight: The Man Who Guards Me. I don't remember if the story started with life in Joseon years or current one. But it is about tangled relationships between few people - consist of long lost childhood plus long term grudges and curse. A very interesting drama as it has different timelines that are hundreds of years apart.
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| credit - Pinterest |
Soo Ho, is a successful businessman who has lost his parents. He has arguable childhood when his father died in a fire and he was 'taken care' by Hae Ra's father. Soo Ho then left Korea to live abroad while Hae Ra lives a miserable life since her parents died. On a stressful day, Hae Ra dreams of a coat her parents ordered when she was a child and had not pick it up. Only then, Hae Ra meets Sharon / Seo Rin.
So what are actually relationships between all of these 3 people?
Who is holding grudges against who?
Watch it yourself. Hahaha. Tak larat nak taip panjang-panjang.
But if you can't tolerate sad ending, don't do it. To be honest, I would prefer another style of sad ending T_T
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| A thing that keep me watching... is the views of Slovenia. |
I am sure there are lot of other life lessons we can learn from the drama. But this is the main point I realised throughout the story.
There is a character named Park Chulmin. He is actually a father of Haera's friend, Gon. In this drama, if you watch it, Chulmin's greediness started when he fell in love with Cheo Seorin, a lady who has lived for 250 years and she always mentioned to Chulmin to be rich in any means. He is doing everything he can to raise his wealth even by threatening people.
I once watched a video about things that can threaten our iiman. When the presenter asked the audience about what are those dangerous things to our iiman, many people will answer majority stuffs that are certainly haram, prohibited or forbidden in Islam like drinking alcohol, adultery, murder etc.
There is a hadith about the greatest threat (At-Tirmidhi).
Narrated K’ab bin Malik: Allah’s Messenger said, “Two hungry wolves sent in the midst of a flock of sheep are not more destructive to them than a man’s greed for wealth and fame is to his religion.” (At-Tirmidhi)
Greed for wealth and fame.
Wealth is important though, even some of Prophet's companions were wealthy and they used their wealth for Islam.
But the greed beyond what is needed and involve unnecessary values are not good. Greedy people can do many things to get what they want - no matter how illegal they are.
T_T
This can be reflected to our life.
Bribe is almost everywhere, in almost every organisation.
May Allah guide us away from this.
SS, Perak, Malaysia
180213
Three Different Perspectives
February 11, 2018
Just a random thought after watching a Korean show entitled Leaving The Nest 2. The show is about teenagers who traveled to Greece without help from parents and older people. At the same time, the show is shown to their parents to see how their children behave and act outside their controls.
A thing that makes me think is.... towards the end of the show - episode 9 if I am not mistaken, there is a part when a father mentioned in the show how he changed after his son's travelling.
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| Sekadar hiasan :) |
In terms of what?
He said, cutting on drinking and smoking.
How?
He received gifts from his son - ashtrays and something related to drinking.
From his son point of view... I do understand that he wanted to give something that the father would love to use, or just something related to him.
But, from the father's perspective, he realised that those habits were too much exposed to his son. Like, he felt like maybe he smoked or drank a lot in front of him that make the son admitted that those habits belong to the father.
And for me personally, wherever I went travelling, I found that ashtrays are beautiful especially to give away as presents. Just, I don't feel good to buy and give them to smokers. It feels like I am encouraging them to continue smoking by providing the ashtrays. To be honest, I don't like the 'smoking' part itself and I am allergic to cigarettes' smoke T_T.
One situation.
Three different perspectives. At least.
And it depends on how someone thinks :)
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Well, nothing much in this post. Just to share my thoughts on this so that, in the future if I read this again, I can remind myself there are at least two views on something. It can be good, it can be bad as well. Depends on how we see it :)
Kita melihat dengan kaca mata apa?
SS, Perak, Malaysia
180211
Breathe by Beni Rusani | Book Review
January 30, 2018
While in preparation with all documents needed to start working, I am so happy I managed to read this book. I mean, another non-academic book. Haha is it really non-academic, Nina? I bet there are lots of medical knowledge inside it. :D
I just knew Popular (at least in AEON Klebang) does not sell Breathe by Beni Rusani. Don't really understand why this bookstore prefer this way, Doesn't the store know this is one of the best-selling books? I ended up buying it from MPH in AEON Kinta City. Funny isn't it, how Ipoh itself has three AEON malls!
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| Front cover. |
Title: Breathe
Author: Beni Rusani
Pages: 260
Publisher: WhiteCoat Enterprise
Publication Date: April 2017
Synopsis:
Basically, it is about Dr. Adam who is now a cardiologist working in National Heart Institute. And ironically a cardiologist suffered a heart attack while he was jogging. The book reminisces Adam's current situations and his memories back in 2003+- when he was a houseman (junior doctor who just start working)
This book also covers his love life, friendships, colleagues and a bit on family.
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| Back cover. |
---------------------
A simple (yet complicated) story but a very interesting one as it is medical-related and I managed to understand most of the terms, diseases, managements mentioned in this novel.
1. Life as a houseman.
It will be my life very soon. Just around the corner. In this novel, I can imagine how blur it will be on the very first day of working. Unsure what to do, where to go etc. But, I can observe how Dr. Adam struggled to maintain to be there, in his shoes as a houseman.
Be ready to admit that I lack clinical experiences.
Be ready to accept the fact that I need to learn hard and smart with all procedures - not on mannequins but real patients.
Improve and remember basic ideas on everything I do.
- "Practice and practice until you bleed. It'll make you a better doctor." - Prof. Black
- "Remember our mantra: See one. Do one. Teach one." - Mad Doc
- "Your eye bags are not imperfections. It's a testimony to your hard work and dedication to your profession." - Prof. Black
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| Life goal. |
2. Move on.
Really. Easier said than done.
Move on in this case does not only mean letting go of failed relationship.
But, letting go all the failure, mistakes in life.
Doctors witness death almost every single day. From medical staffs point of view, I can understand how many doctors I've met admit that they end up losing the normal reaction towards death - patients' death. I am a bit afraid to be like that as well.
In this novel, we can appreciate how doctors actually cannot move on from their patients' deaths. Especially their very first one. T_T It basically give huge impact in their own life, even for the experienced doctors - losing patient after trying everything he can do - can be torturing.
- "To enter the light, you have to let go of your past."
- "Someone I look up to once told me, horrible things could happen in medicine. Patients can die on us. We must learn from it and move on. So we can help the next patients."
- "Forgiving others seemed easy while forgiving yourself was hard."
There are many more life lessons I can extract from this book. But, I think these two are enough for me now. :)
Pray that I will be a competent doctor.
Pretty please <3
My rating: ★★★★★
SS, Perak, Malaysia
180130
My Experience and Tips to Raudhah, Masjid Nabawi, Madinah
January 29, 2018
What is Raudhah actually?
First of all, it is an area inside Masjid Nabawi that include tombs of Nabi Muhammad s.a.w., Saidina Abu Bakar As-Siddiq r.a. and Saidina Umar al-Khattab r.a.. There is another place that is said to be reserved for Nabi Isa a.s.
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| Kubah hijau Masjid Nabawi |
Raudhah is the area that is also considered tempat mustajab doa. Most people who prayed here, they usually say that their wishes have been granted :)
As I mentioned earlier, women are allowed to enter Raudhah only after Fajr, Zuhur and Isya' prayers. Always enter Masjid Nabawi via door 25 (for women) if you attempt to enter Raudhah. There are two main gates afterwards - 1) to enter the men's prayer areas from women's prayer areas, 2) to enter Raudhah itself.
1) First attempt.
My first attempt (after Zuhur) to enter, Mak and I followed the Malay group - it is actually kumpulan berbahasa Melayu. Here, you can expect people from Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore and Brunei. And I've been told that English speaking countries can be included here as well. I have no idea about other groups. But seems like Indians love to join this group as well T_T
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| Can you see the signboard? This was when we were waiting to pass the first gate. |
After passing the first door, Mak and I ended up separated from that Malay group and suddenly we were surrounded by lots of Indians. I suspected we accidentally get ourselves into the Indian group. No way to leave the group anyway, as there were many other people behind our backs. So, we just try our best to adapt with that situation. To be honest, Indians are very aggressive. SubhanAllah. Memang rasa kena lenyek.
It was very crowded that we couldn't even see our feet. So, we couldn't decide if we already enter Raudhah's area or not.
How to know?
Raudhah's floors are covered with green carpets, instead of red carpets at other areas.
2) Second attempt.
Okay, this time, it was after Isya' and we decided to really stick to the Malay group. And guess what, it was the same situation. Even in the Malay group, there were so many other people like Africans and Indians in the group.
When people in Malay group were allowed to enter Raudhah, there was no easy way in either. So many people who were already in Raudhah had not leave Raudhah yet. Some others who didn't plan to stay longer, they were also stuck in the crowd and unable to get themselves out of Raudhah. T_T
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| Waiting to pass the second gate. Raudhah is beyond the instructions banners that you can see. |
The challenge for me at that time was, there was another makcik following me and Mak. I felt like another responsibility was given to me as I need to take care of her in Raudhah as well. She is 75 years old, guys. She looks tired of waiting and what else kena himpit etc.
We first sit among the Malays before passing the first door, then we joined another group (it was with the Turks at that time). Alhamdulillah, it was the smoothest than previous two. Mak and I waited patiently (walaupun kena himpit jugak) until we reached the very front line of Raudhah. It was the best zone as less people pushing us.
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| Post-Raudhah |
There are few tips I would love to share.
Not just for you but for my own references in the future.
- Perform lots of solat hajat to pray that we will have easier entry into Raudhah.
- Be patient, sabar sabar and sabar.
- Exercise regularly before coming here so that we will be physically fit.
- Stay with the Malay group first. Usually in front of the first gate will be the Turks, beside them will be us, the Malays. But still, Malay group usually become the last group to pass the first gate T_T
- Try to enter Raudhah with a partner. You can take turn to guard each other to pray. Why? When you sujud, other people would not see you down there. The potential to be stepped on will be much higher.
- While walking passing the first gate, always zikrullah and selawat. We are going to visit Rasulullah s.a.w.! :D
- The time allocated is 5 minutes - they said. But trust me, once you are inside, the tendency to be stuck and unable to exit is high. Use that time you are stuck there wisely - either to pray multiple times, make lots of du'as. If you want to give chance to other people, try to move out slowly while keep on making du'as although it will be challenging as well.
- Try to calm and don't shout as this is a mosque and if Rasulullah s.a.w. can see us, he must be very sad to see the situation T_T Avoid using harsh words and be patient when you are pushed from all directions.
- Send our salam for Rasulullah s.a.w. and his Companions. You can always read the prayers in your guidebook.
- Always say in our prayers that this will not be our last chance to visit Rasulullah s.a.w. and to hope that we will be here again very soon.
- Still perform our prayers towards qiblah, NOT TOWARDS THE TOMBS!
- Enter lightly. I mean, avoid taking with you lots of bags. Even, tawakal a lot to leave the shoes at the shoe racks.
- There are spaces to pray for people on wheelchairs. I think they have different entrance :)
There is an interesting story about Saidatina Aisyah. She was originally offered to have a tomb in Raudhah but she decided not to be there as there would be Saidina Umar r.a. (who was not her mahram). Aisyah was buried at Jannat al-Baqi' (Perkuburan Baqi') which is said that people buried here will be among the earliest to enter Jannah. :)
SS, Perak, Malaysia
180128
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