First Eid Without You
June 25, 2017
It is approaching 3am right now, I just cannot sleep yet, realizing I miss you a lot these days. I managed to go through few days of Ramadhan at home without you, I just cannot imagine how Mak Ayah dealt with Ramadhan, just the two of them when you used to accompany them since the past few years when you were not feeling well.
It is Eid today, AbangLong.
InsyAllah, I am going to visit you again this morning after Eid prayer. I still cannot help to be sad to see your full name on your batu nisan, the last time I visit you. I think you know that you have Nyah as your neighbour now, she passed away on your birthday - the day you should turn 31.
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| Here is our youngest kitten, we call her Mas (I haven't figure out the gender though) |
AbangLong,
It felt weird to iron only four baju raya this time, when I used to iron for the five of us.
It felt weird to sit on your seat in the car, when I am used to sit in between you and AbangNgah.
It felt weird to go out on the last night of Ramadhan for our last minute shopping without you choosing your songkok.
It felt weird to find your clothes in my wardrobe when I am no longer be able to call your name to pass them.
It felt weird to find shiitake mushrooms in the fridge while cleaning the kitchen.
It felt weird to organize the flasks that I used to take chicken porridge in them to the hospital for you.
It felt weird to watch Shahrukh Khan on the screen without sharing with you.
So many weird feelings to write here.
278 days.
Since the day you left the world.
Too many things happened since that day,
Too many changes since that day,
Too many good people I've met since that day,
Too many stories to share with you since that day.
Be happy there, AbangLong.
Keep coming into my dreams.
Keep smiling in my dreams.
Oh yea AbangLong,
I finished my studies, finally.
I am sorry I cannot help much with your pain when you were struggling days by days that time.
I am sorry for not being around the most of the years.
I am sorry for not being able to be patient sometimes while taking care of you.
I am sorry you are not able to be at my graduation day very soon.
I am sorry for not being a good sister to you.
Gonna meet you soon, insyAllah.
Let's be siblings in Jannah :)
p/s - Eid Mubarak, everyone :)
SS, Perak, Malaysia
170625
He Is Coming Home :)
June 16, 2017
I hope you guys are doing great. Honestly I miss blogging a lot, I miss reading your stories. :(
But, seems like I have a lot of other priorities to do before I am leaving for good. Fuhhh. Just bought one way flight ticket home and it will be the final home-bound flight from Europe, together with the other girls. After all these 6 years, finally I am going home for good :) Alhamdulillah.
Anyway, someone is coming home as well! It was out of my plan actually, but it turned out that he's coming home! Those who've read my blog for awhile, I guess you know what it is, right? Hihi.
See you in Malaysia soon, Kelly :)
Be safe throughout your journey crossing the world, I am so happy that you are going to travel a lot.
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We are now in the final 10 days of Ramadhan, hopefully we are still striving our best to perform well this Ramadhan. :)
The real test of your character is when circumstances don't go the way you want. Will you then remain a kind, caring & good-hearted person?— Mufti Ismail Menk (@muftimenk) June 9, 2017
The most important thing I've learned throughout Ramadhan so far... is patience. Every day is a brand new challenge, honestly it feels totally different upon finishing the studies haha. Keep strong, Nina. At least, you've lost few kg. :p
InsyAllah, I will sit down properly to write a better post, very soon ameen ameen!
Salam ramadhan, people :)
InsyAllah, I will sit down properly to write a better post, very soon ameen ameen!
Salam ramadhan, people :)
Hradec Kralove, Czech
170615
Life Unavoidable Dramas
June 6, 2017
It felt like yesterday when I finished this struggling journey and to be honest, I realized I missed A LOT of things happening around me within this period. You know when you suddenly came out of your comfort-but-not-that-comfort zone, dush there you go, a brand new life that you need to think and decide.
Enjoying life dramas. :)
Yes, my life is full of dramas currently, including quarter-life crisis. Hahaha. Too old. I am not going to share here specifically but well, life is a continuous battle, just like how medicine is a continuous learning process. Arguments over nonsense ideas, debates over unnecessary things - that are the headache parts. Not to forget, discussion over the next stages of life - working, settling down, further study, having a family, contribution to own family.
Wow. I feel like an adult when I am basically already an adult. A young adult.
I think students always think about future (at least I do), but all these 'future' things become much more significant when a tiring phase of life is done. I am not saying studying is a burden, in fact all people need to study and always in the process of learning to be someone better. But, I think you get the point, right?
It's never too late to start over. If you weren't happy with yesterday, try something different today. Don't stay stuck. Do better. - quote
Take a seat and think about all the possible consequences. Fight for your life target as the route is full of roses and thorns. Move on if life is NOT according to your plan only AFTER you've try your best. It is just not meant for you.
You. Me.
Yes, I am talking to myself.
I always have this thought that "Am I too old for this?" "Am I too late to make changes?" And the answer that I decided to hold on to for now is 'no'. :)
Goodbye is approaching really soon. Gonna miss this.
p/s - Goodbye Transsiberian route, I'll get back to you in a more proper way :)
p/s/s - Any post-graduation / jobless / working life advice, please? Hihi
Hradec Kralove, Czech
170606
A New Life Chapter
June 3, 2017
Assalamualaikum and hi guys! :)
I keep on writing and backspacing right now but still I can't put my feeling into words. Ya Allah, it was such a wonderful feeling when the doctors announced the results that time. Nerve-wrecking.
1st June 2016 2017. hehe, thanks!
Just to imagine, that was the day to see where the future will lead me to. And how my life in this beautiful country will come to the end. Deep inside, I kept on praying hard hoping with Allah's blessings and the barakah of Ramadhan... I really want to get it done. But, I knew I need to accept whatever Allah has planned for me, if maybe it would not be according to my plan.
Alhamdulillah, a new life chapter, with new responsibilities.
I know the life ahead will be more challenging and heart-aching but insyAllah let's just feel this moment, just for a while :)
Alhamdulillah for all the awesome and bad experiences.
Alhamdulillah for all the strengths to stand up to face all challenges.
Alhamdulillah for the body, mind and soul for allowing me to do this, something I have regret sometimes.
Special thanks to Ayah Mak AbgLong AbgNgah for the continuous prayers, for never-ending supports and for not being annoyed with all the whining and complaints I shared with you guys through out these 2+6 years. Ya Allah, I can't believe I took 8 years to reach this position. When the study timeline was a bit diverted than other people but insyAllah right now I feel blessed to have been going through these years and to be exact to be in this country, in this university.
Thank you dear friends who have been with me together in this journey.
"Do we realize we spend 1/4 of our life here, at the age we can remember all those moments, with all technologies to record all the memories?" - Jawahir
Thank you guys for reading the blog and keep on praying for my friends and I. Thank you so much for missing me in this blogging world *terharu*. InsyAllah I will keep doing appreciation through out my life, so many people to be mentioned if not here, insyAllah you guys will always be in my heart and prayers.
Salam Ramadhan everyone. :)
And once again, thank you so much. All of you.
Hradec Kralove, Czech
170603
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